Kaiya quickly put away her utensils and left the dining hall. She wasn’t quite in a hurry, but she was eager to be back in her weyr after dinner.
“Kaiya!”
Kaiya turned around to see Jopha approach her.
“A couple of us are going to Little Madellon to do some exploring. Want to come along?”
Normally, Kaiya would have jumped at the chance, but a certain girl’s diary was at the forefront of her mind at the moment.
She smiled and shook her head. “Maybe another time.”
Jopha smirked. “Reading more of that ancient diary? It’s amazing how interested you are in some old person’s life story. I know-” she said, interrupting Kaiya’s retort, “it’s more than just a story to you, and the fact the characters are real makes it more special.”
Kaiya grinned sheepishly.
“I’ll let you go for now,” Jopha said pointedly. “Until next time!”
Kaiya hurried up to her weyr, noting that Mabonth was missing from her ledge. A quick check-in revealed that she was visiting a dragon a few weyrs over, and was currently in the middle of a staring contest.
Kaiya laughed. That could take a while, so she had some time to herself. She sat down on her bed, pulled out the diary, and began to read.
49.08.12 (49th Turn, Seventh Pass)
Fort Weyr
I had an interesting encounter today.
As weyrling training continues, I’m noticing more and more the differences between my and Arionth’s training and the other dragonpairs. The more they go into firestone drills and formation-flying, the more we are separated from them – singled out for training from the Weyrwoman and Maryath.
Unfortunately, the singling out has also spread to other places in the Weyr. Hardly anyone sits next to me during meals, for example. The other girls in the weyrling class easily sit and talk together, but with me there’s a chasm a mile wide. Not that I’m complaining, though. I welcome the chance to sit and think.
Anyway, someone sat with me during lunch today! M’tran, brown Kaspath’s rider. He’s a Wingsecond, and pretty young to be one. H e seems to be about my age! We met briefly before – he and Kaspath were part of the Search envoy to Ruatha. He said I was difficult to forget – a girl in a pair of dirty trousers, sitting in a tree and reading a book, eager to get away from her duties!
I’m not sure if I should be flattered or mortified. I told him so, and he only laughed. He has a beautiful laugh.
The lunch hour passed much too quickly, as we talked about everything and nothing.
I wonder if we’ll talk again tomorrow.
Kaiya smiled knowingly. In a romance story, this would be a meet-cute. The beginning of a wonderful friendship, likely to become something more.
And as she read more entries describing further mealtime meetings, chance encounters within and outside the Weyr, and one particularly heated argument at a Gather which ended in a passionate kiss, Kaiya could barely keep herself from squeeing with joy.
The next entry was even steamier than the last – Larana’s descriptions of her first time with M’tran were enough to make Kaiya blush furiously, almost embarrassed to read on further. Was there such a thing as too private? At the same time, she felt she was on a runner’s high, watching this romance unfold before her eyes.
Wondering what to expect next, she turned to the next entry.
50.04.23 (50th Turn, Seventh Pass)
Fort Weyr
As I write this, I notice Arionth’s bright golden color, and how she is practically glowing with health. A sure sign that she will rise to mate any day.
The Weyrwoman has spent a great deal of time training me regarding what to expect during a mating flight. Her words ring through my head over and over. I must be strong-minded and focused. I mustn’t allow Arionth to gorge herself. I mustn’t let her go between. I mustn’t be surprised or upset at which one of the bronze riders will have me.
All the while, I keep getting asked which one of the bronze riders I fancy, and which one I would most want to spend my first flight with. I just sigh and pretend not to understand. Someone with a sharp eye and intelligence would have noticed M’tran and I sitting together at mealtimes, talking together, and spending time together at Gathers and put two and two together, and seen that I am certainly not available, physically or emotionally.
But the other girls in the weyrling class are either oblivious or don’t care, as they continue to bombard me with talk and speculation of the current roster of bronze riders – who are available and who aren’t, who are the most ambitious, and – of course – who are the most attractive. I could care less.
If anything, I would just leave the choosing up to Arionth and wait until the whole thing is over. At least she would enjoy herself (and I suppose I would, up to a certain point). It’s an annoyance I would love to have over right away.
I wonder what M’tran thinks of all this. He and Kaspath would never dream of interfering in the mating flight, but I’m sure he’s wondering what will become of us after the flight. Us, as weyrmates, I mean. We haven’t yet declared, though I wanted to before any of this mating flight business became an issue – the Weyrwoman’s advice was to wait until after the flight is over.
Kaiya stopped reading and sighed. What a predicament. She couldn’t imagine loving one rider, and having to share a mating flight with someone else. The romance stories she read never went into that – usually, the heroine would fall in love with the dashing hero, and his bronze would outfly all others, and against all odds catch the heroine’s queen.
And love would conquer all.
Of course, reality was not so clear-cut. Riders and their dragons didn’t always love the same dragonpairs. Sometimes a rider would fall in love with a non-rider, and every mating flight would be a cause for argument or jealousy.
She wondered how Larana would handle her upcoming mating flight.
50.04.25 (50th Turn, Seventh Pass)
Fort Weyr
So. Arionth’s first mating flight happened. And it was a disaster.
Well, it wasn’t a disaster in the absolute sense – no one died, after all. Unless you count my dignity.
At least the bronze who caught Arionth was respectful. If only his rider was as gallant – I don’t even remember the moron’s name.
I woke, expecting a quiet, peaceful afterglow… or at least something close enough to it with someone who wasn’t M’tran. What I didn’t expect was for the bronze rider to be so full of himself that he practically talked my ears off about his Wingleader skills, his political ambitions, his… ugh… sexual prowess… And so on.
But the last straw was when he all but admitted he was using me as a stepping-stone for his campaign to be the next Weyrleader, and that as his girl, I had better start coming up with ideas to support him. The nerve of him!
A few seconds of silence were the only warning the bronze rider got before I screamed at him to get out of my weyr.
I belong to no one!
… except Arionth. And she to me.
M’tran couldn’t stop laughing when I told him the story. Oh, he’d seen the cursed bronze rider scrambling out of my weyr half-dressed, clothes falling out of his arms, but after hearing about the rider’s disrespectful attitude, he’d spent one moment angry for me and the rest congratulating me for having the sense to throw the rider out.
I suppose he also felt relief, since he wouldn’t lose me any time soon. As if he would ever!
Kaiya laughed until tears ran down her face. Well, that was one way to handle a mating flight. Mabonth’s first flight was coming up soon, and unsettling thoughts had lurked in the back of Kaiya’s mind as to how she and Mabonth would handle it. She wondered if she could ever be as bold as Larana, and throw a rider out of her weyr if he ended up being obnoxious.
Either way, she felt better about Mabonth’s own upcoming mating flight. At least now, she had one positive, if hilarious, example to follow.
She continued reading, going over entries full of weyrling training and graduation, more Gathers, and quiet moments spent together with M’tran.
Then, she turned a page, saw the next entry and frowned. The writing was shaky, and the ink was smeared in places, as if it had been hit by raindrops… or tears.
50.12.01 (50th Turn, Seventh Pass)
Fort Weyr
The unthinkable has happened.
M’tran and Kaspath…
I can barely get the words out. It hurts too much. But I must.
M’tran and Kaspath are gone.
It was during the last Threadfall. I was downwind, in the Queen’s Wing, so I couldn’t see what was happening higher up in the atmosphere. I wasn’t told until hours after it happened.
A large clump of Thread fell on Kaspath, searing M’tran to the bone and fouling Kaspath’s wings. As they fell through the sky they sought and found relief by going between. But they never came out again.
I can barely think. I haven’t eaten or slept in days. I can’t see Thread without cursing it to its very fibers. We were so close to the end – only a few sevendays more, and the Pass would be over, and for us to end like this – it’s not fair!
I must keep going on, for Arionth. I know that. But how can I live without M’tran? How can I live without his smile, his beautiful laugh, his faith in me?
How can I live?
The book dropped from Kaiya’s fingers and fell onto the bed. Tears glistened and fell from her eyes as she cried. She felt like she had been punched in the gut.
She sobbed quietly for a few long moments, then reached for the diary gingerly, as if she was afraid it would bite her. She lifted a corner of the next page, about to turn it, but stopped.
Should she continue? She hated reading sad stories, where the heroes and heroines died at the end. This was quickly becoming one of those stories.
Then, a stark realization hit her.
This wasn’t just a story. Even though it happened a hundred Turns ago, it was real. Larana had lived, and loved, and had lost that love.
How did she get through it? How did she cope?
Somehow, Kaiya felt that she owed it to Larana to finish her story. She started with her at the beginning; it was only right that she should be there at the end.
Kaiya swallowed, sniffled, and wiped her tears roughly with her arm. Her mind was reeling from the emotional rollercoaster she had just been on. It would be madness to continue reading in such a state, especially if she wanted to understand the rest of Larana’s story and show it the proper respect.
She would continue it later, when the time was right.